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Joe Mack was stuffing his pink round face with a gyro when his cell phone started ringing to the tune of "Staying Alive."
He answered, cheeks exploding with food, "This Joe."
"Hi, yes, um, I've got a bit of an interesting problem."
"Whath?"
"Well, I'm in my apartment but I can't get the deadbolt to turn from the inside."
Joe Mack choked down a huge mouthful, said, "So you're locked in."
"Exactly."
"Which apartment?" He didn't even try to mask the annoyance in his voice.
"Twenty-two eleven."
"Name?"
"Um…I'm not the tenet. I'm Karen Prescott's friend. She's the-"
"Yeah, I get it. You need to leave any time soon?"
"Well, yeah, I don't want to-"
Joe Mack sighed, closed the cell phone, and devoured the last of the gyro.
Wiping his hands on his shirt he heaved himself from a debilitated swivel chair and lumbered out of the office, locking the door behind him.
The lobby was quiet for midday and the elevator doors spread as soon as he pressed the button. He rode up wishing he'd bought three gyros for lunch instead of two.
The doors opened again and he walked onto the twenty-second floor, fishing the key ring containing the master from the pocket of his enormous overalls.
He belched.
It echoed down the empty corridor.
Man was he hungry.
He stopped at 2211, knocked, yelled through the door, "It's the super!"
No one answered.
Joe Mack inserted the master into the deadbolt. It turned easily enough.
He pushed the door open.
"Hello?" he said, standing in the threshold, admiring the apartment -- roomy, flat-screen television, lush deep blue carpet, an antique desk, great view of SoHo, probably loads of food in the fridge.
"Anybody home?"
He turned the deadbolt four times. It worked perfectly.
Another door opened somewhere in the hallway and approaching footsteps reverberated off the hardwood floor. Joe Mack glanced down the corridor at the tall man with black hair in a black overcoat strolling toward him from the stairwell.
"Hey, pal, were you the one who just called me?" Joe Mack asked.
The man with black hair stopped at the open doorway of 2211.
He smelled strange, of Windex and lemons.
"Yes, I was the one."
"Oh. You get the lock to work?"
"I've never been in this apartment."
"What the fuck did you call me for-"
Glint of a blade. The man held an ivory-hilted bowie. He swept its shimmering point across Joe Mack's swollen belly, cleaving denim, cotton, several layers of skin.
"No, just wait just a second-"
The man raised his right leg and booted Joe Mack through the threshold.
The super toppled backward as the man followed him into the apartment, slammed the door, and shot the deadbolt home.
